QUESTION

I've been engaged to a fabulous man and living together for the last 7 years. The only problem is he is 16 years older then me and we only have sex about once every 12 weeks. He does have ED but the doctors say it is emotional not physical, he was sexually abused as a child.

I have an extremely high sex drive and feel like I can't do this anymore as he refuses to go to counseling. I feel unloved and not good enough.

I've been chatting to a guy online for the past little while and have fallen head over heals for the guy. He claims to be in love with me but let it slip and said that he didn't want to tell me that online. He wants to meet ASAP even though I said I wouldn't sleep with him on his first visit, he lives 700 km away and still wants to come to meet me. Our sexual tastes are exactly the same and so are a lot of our interests and ideas and beliefs about life and relationships. He has asked me if we can try for a baby as soon as we get together because he knows that I also really want a child and says that he wants me to move in with him. He also says he is also very scared by how fast things are going and hopes I'm not playing him for a fool.

The only problem is that while he is offering to go for an AIDS test he says that he won't use condoms with a woman he loves. Is he really in love with me or is he just looking for unprotected sex and a good time? Is all this just sweet talk or do you think he really is falling for me?

I don't want to cheat for a one night stand but I will cheat if I know it will ultimately end with me and the new guy together. Please help me, I can't talk to anyone and desperately need sound advice. I do love my fiance but have never been truly in love with or attracted to him. I see him as my best friend or older brother. Hope that's enough info.

Thanks in advance.