As a sexuality clinician and educator, Marlene recognises that all people have the right to access sexual and reproductive health services and information.
I have been dating this man for the past 1 year, and is deeply in love with him, but he pulls me close, and then pushes me away. I can definately spend the rest of my life with him, but im not convinced that he feels the same. We live together.
He had a very "confusing"childhood, and i think he has never made piece with things that happend then. he has been "let down and hurt"a lot. I love to love him, but i think i have given toooo much love. He says he wishes we could connect on a deeper level, but in the same sentence he calles me his wife. I know he loves me, but i am very confused with his actions, and what he says.
I would do anything to make this relationship work, but I sometimes feel so rejected. Other days he cant "live"without me, and he wants me close. I really feel like I am going crazy?? Please PLEASE can you give me some advise? Does he have a fear of longtime commitment?
You do sound as if you are desperate , you do sound as if you are over pleasing and over investing in a relationship in which the outcome is confusing. You cannot love for both of you, your extra love and care will not make him love you more and commit him more. His work as an adult is to become more solid in himself so he can love and commit fully - you cannot do this work for him.
if he has childhood wounds these are for him to heal. He must let you know how he needs loving . He is telling you his truth- he sounds committed but confused and afraid so you must respect this-- as long s you are getting enough to sustain you for now and a future. If you feel this indecisiveness is intolerable fro you then you may have to move on. Your over loving may work in opposite way you intend- it may chase him away.
Focus more on your own happiness, ensure you have your own interesting life and allow him to choose you for yourself - not because you will love him so much his pain will go. Take this risk.