It finally happened. I didn’t expect it, and I most definitely didn’t expect it to happen so bloody soon, but it did.
I am considering botox.
Earlier this week my darling niece drew an impromptu portrait of me. As with most children’s art it was beautifully abstract, but would hardly serve as a means of identification.
My nose was the classic L-shape that young hands draw. My eyes, far apart and thickly lashed. My mouth about three times its actual size. And yet, with the keen, innocent eye of a child, she added four unforgiving parallel lines running unchecked across my forehead. From the pencils of babes indeed. Ouch.
The thing is, 10 years ago, no wait, five years ago – actually even just ONE year ago I was determined to grow old naturally. Injecting poison, or collagen, or silicone into my body, or having lasers and scalpels cut me in the name of vanity just seemed odd to me. (Ah, the bravado of youth: so certain, so merciless, so unforgiving. )
Now, I’m not so sure. I use a moisturiser. I wear makeup sometimes, and every now and then I even do my hair – all in the name of beauty. Why shouldn’t I do something like botox that is neither dangerous nor permanent?
The thing is, I’m not sure whether I should rage against the dying of my 20-something face or rage against the world that makes us feel that 20-something faces are better than 40 or 50 or 60 or 70-something faces. Like that’s going to make a difference.
I’m not sure whether I should make a stand against my wrinkles or make a stand for natural ageing.
Either way I’ll be surrendering something. Will I surrender gravitas, experience and principles if I “take care” of my wrinkles? Will I surrender youth and beauty if I make a stand against vanity?
I don’t know. In the end I think I’ll do what I feel most comfortable with. And I think that is the most important thing when it comes to these decisions. Well, that and money.
Am I going crazy here? Please tell me what your opinions are. And do mention your age range, since we’ve seen what a big difference that can make.