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The sex book debate

We all read 'em. But do you USE them?

In the 1972 movie Play it again, Sam, Woody Allen touts his sexual prowess by saying "I was really great last night; I didn't once have to sit up and consult the manual."

Which begs the question, if Woody Allen doesn't need a manual, who does?

No-one, according to a quick poll in our women24 offices. Well, no-one but me. Because while I never imagined having much in common with Woody Allen it turns out that I am enough of a nerd to have actually tried the whole sex by numbers thing.

You see, when a friend gave me a copy of The modern girl's Kama Sutra or Smokin' Sex (or whatever these types of things are called), I was rather keen to try it out. My husband, on the other hand, needed some convincing. It turned out that, talented, virile creature that he was, he couldn't imagine a possible scenario that would require the use of a manual.

"You don't need any help babe," he growled affectionately.

Yes I know. I married a very, very nice man.

Nevertheless, I, being of the conviction that one can always up one's game, decided to memorize as many of the tricks and tips as I could manage. I studied the various pages, chockablock with awe-inspiring (if somewhat mind-boggling) positions, for about forty minutes before sashaying into the bedroom in my finest lingerie.

No prizes for guessing how that worked out.

I can't remember whether it was because in the flesh I wasn't quite as limber as I imagined myself to be, or if C was freaked out by my unfortunate fascist approach (higher! lower! macht schnell!) but we went to sleep in a huff.

A couple of weeks later we watched Blue Lagoon on TV. After lots of derisive laughter – the young castaways build a double storey mansion with vast windows and wide sweeping verandas, from bamboo shoots and spit, presumably – we decided not to change the channel. The sex bits were coming up, you see.

Now while this whole trapped-on-a-paradise-island-throughout-your-sexual-awakening-years is a cool fantasy, the whole business had us in giggles. And not only because of the male lead's ridiculous hair. The coming of age seduction scene was so wooden that it sparked a debate: would you know what to do sexually without someone telling (or teaching) you how? Hmm… rather difficult to say seeing that we're not exactly inundated with information about kids getting stuck on desert islands. Although, haven't we all heard a story about some couple in Smalltownburg who've been doing it wrong for fifteen years?

Nature or nurture? What do you think?

I've decided that yes, I do believe that nature takes its course. But seeing that I'm not in the habit of looking a gift horse in the mouth, I'll keep on reading those sex tips.

Have you read a sex manual? And – this is the important bit – actually taken that advice into the bedroom?

- Women24

Read more on: sex  |  books
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jb 10/15/2008 3:49:42 PM
Yes. And at age 55 when your wife says lets try this or that position.What a pleasure.
Mary 10/16/2008 11:43:54 AM
Yes I have two books. I bought them after 3 years of being divorced and I am reading it as I thought that I need to get back in there, sothat when I meat someone(oneday) I will not lack any knowledge(I hope)
leigh 10/16/2008 2:16:35 PM
Using a manual is stupid and unoriginal .
Melanie 10/22/2008 1:29:14 PM
I love Dr Eve's Pillowbook. It has nothing to do with positions, but everything to do with a woman learning about her own sensuality. It gave me the confidence to do EVERYTHING I like. It has no taboos and simple encourages us to love ourselves, literally!
Kele 11/15/2008 8:01:23 PM
Yes I have read one. No, I've never actually done what it said. But maybe my next boyfriend would be more open-minded.
bytjies 10/5/2009 12:49:09 PM
I have a dirty little secret. I Read cosmo's sex tips and try every one of them........ its just sooo much fun.... even if you get it wrong. nothing wrong with having a giggle in the bedroom (or kitchen or bathroom...)
sex is there for you to enjoy... if you like getting tips from books.........great. if you dont thats great too. just as long as you enjoy yourself
nhlanhla 10/6/2009 11:45:14 AM
i lake thos woman
Who ? 10/7/2009 1:33:58 PM
A couple in Smalltownburg who've been doing it wrong for fifteen years ???
I don't know about them...
What did they do wrong for fifteen years ?
megs 10/7/2009 1:51:16 PM
I need to get me a man!
Mads 10/7/2009 2:43:23 PM
I'm a 38 year old soon-to-be divorced woman and I love sex! - my lover too. With him it is so new and exciting because he's innovative - he reads every book and/or tip on sex that he can get his hands on - and it shows!! What a pleasure after 15 years of dull, plain, 'get-it-over-with' sex...!
He taught me to LOVE my body and that made all the difference! Read on Baby, read on!
frans 10/7/2009 5:38:04 PM
i wish to have one of this books, every time i try to have fun with my girlfriend my popi don't walk up but with my wife YES. what can i do ? i need you to teach me practicaly and not manuely.
PRESHEN GOVENDER 10/9/2009 8:46:57 AM
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