What's God got to do with it?
Dorothy Black is perplexed by the religious and moralising folk who condemn premarital sex, homosexuality, transgenderism and so on...
One of the not-so-great aspects of writing a column about sex is the slew of comments from the religious and moralising who are quick to call me a whore and/or damn my eternal soul to hell.
The assumption is that, as I write openly about sex, I am naturally a morally bankrupt person 'unable to keep my legs together', spreading the word of sin and disease across the country.
What an odd conclusion to draw.
Sometimes these responses are amusing to me, sometimes they're dull, but they almost always inspire the same niggling question: What's God got to do with it?
Too much still it seems.
From Islam to Christianity nothing has done more to vilify the human body and its natural impulses than religion. Even Buddhist monks (and only men can become monks) treat female sexuality as an obstacle to spiritual enlightenment.
No other single social construct has done more to subjugate women and objectify their sex.
Even when sexuality is embraced within the religious lifestyle, everything outside the textbook 'norm' becomes deviant and therefore wrong – sex out of wedlock, homosexuality, transgenderism and so on. Even masturbation is somehow an abomination and against the natural order of things.
Entire generations of children have been subjected to these twisted notions about a function that is as fundamental to our natures as eating.
Entire generations of children have become adults burdened with the uncomfortable notion that their unmentionables are shameful places and their desires, sexual orientation and fantasies unacceptable at best and sinful and unclean at worst.
All because of a belief that there is some unseen, voyeuristic deity in the sky scrutinising what we do with our sex organs and judging us for our humanity.
Even before we are able to discern for ourselves, we are made to understand that our genitals are somehow 'different' to the rest of us.
While noses are noses and legs are legs, penises are pee pees, winkies, toties, thingies, tottermannetjies and toelies, while vaginas are cookies, wee wees, flowers, fannies and feefees. Or they're not mentioned at all. And if we’re 'caught' masturbating, we're told our fingers or legs will fall off.
How truly bizarre.
Why is it that shame is more morally acceptable than pleasure? That abstinence and denial from pleasure are lauded as virtues?
One would think we're still firmly stuck in the Dark Ages, fearing a wrathful God and incapable of taking responsibility for our actions while blaming our misadventures on the weakness of evil flesh and the devil. Or TV and porn.
It would seem that for many, life remains polarized between infantile notions of 'bad' sex behaviour and 'good' sex behaviour. Between 'sluts' and 'good girls'. Between the Madonna and the whore. The dirty and the divine.
Maybe that's a turn-on for some. In which case, I'm all for it. For myself, I like to think of life, love and sex as being more nuanced than that.
(Also, I guess, if there's going to be a third party in bed with my lover and I, I would prefer it not be guilt or God. It's a personal preference really that's served me quite well so far.)
As for those who insist on venting their spleen in a gush of sanctimonious godliness, I'm sure those feelings might be better served on topics like murder, rape, death and war.
You know, the really bad stuff that actually causes people pain.
Have you been taught that sex is dirty? Share your comments and opinions in the box below.
- Women24