Miss K's designer vagina

Dorothy Black thinks there's a fine line between beautification and butchering when it comes to the designer vagina.

Article: Dorothy Black

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'In with the out and new with the old!' declared Miss K to us around the New Year's table the other day. She was talking about her vagina. Or rather more specifically, her labia. This was her New Year's gift to herself – labiaplasty.

Which is not to be confused with vaginoplasty. For those of you who have never contemplated carving out your genitals with a sharp instrument, labiaplasty is generally concerned with 'styling' the outer or inner labia, while vaginoplasty is about tightening the vaginal walls.

And while there are many valid medical reasons one would want to do this, most of those who decide to undergo this surgery do so for the same utterly bizarre reason Miss K is – the beautification of the punani.

'By this time this year,' continued Miss K between gulps of icy mojito, 'I will have the perfect vagina.'

And then she pushed the sides of her hands together, stretching out her forefingers and thumbs to create that teardrop space we were lead to believe was the 'size of our vagina' – whatever that meant – when we were in school. This was to demonstrate what her practically labialess vag would look like. She peered at us through the hole.

Needless to say, it was a little creepy.

But not because we were drunk and discussing putting knives near my dear friend's betty, but because there's another term for this form of 'body sculpting': female genital mutilation. Or FGM for short. Hardly as catchy or marketable as say 'designer vagina', but hey, a rose by any other name...

You see, the theme behind FGM and the designer vagina is pretty much the same: the natural female body is undesirable and flawed. Inherent in both is the belief that a women's sexuality is embodied solely by her vagina and that it is dirty, ugly and unacceptable.

The difference between FGM and the designer vagina is simply the money and degree of mutilation involved.

A while back, a reader (male) commented on an assertion that I'd made that the vagina was a beautiful thing. 'Wonderful, yes,' he said. 'Beautiful, no.'

Why is that?

Was there a memo that went out delineating the virtues of what beautiful genitals look like? I'm starting to think that the standard for the perfect vagina has been set by twelve-year-old girls and porn stars.

More than that, I find it cringe-worthy that women who are finally paying attention to their vaginas are doing so only to break it down into a checklist of surgical procedure to 'correct' anything from ‘discolouration’ to 'flappy' clit hoodies and protruding inner labia to 'wrinkly' outer labia.

I'm not sure where all this distaste for the female genitals came into the picture but, in the West at least, I'm pretty sure it slipped in somewhere between original sin and wilful ignorance (across gender lines) of the 'down there'.

Miss K will almost definitely go through with the labiaplasty this year. And I'm sure that once her labia looks perfect, she might consider clitoropexy or hoodectomy, lipodystrophy and later maybe vaginoplasty.

Maybe one day, if she's lucky, she'll finally have the genitals sported by Barbie.

What do you think of designer vaginas? Would you want to have one?

- Women24

I'm sorry but last time I checked a man's genitals were FAR more unappealing than a womans! I would never consider changing anything "down under" - in my opinion, it's about the affection between two people, not just beautification so that he get's pleasure going spelunking!

As a man who is thoroughly in love with vaginae in general, to consider mutilating one for aesthetic reasons boggles the mind. Although I am now committed to one particular vagina I always enjoyed getting a first look at a new partners pleasure pot. They are all made different and they all work differently. Half the fun is exploring that uniqueness of the female anatomy. Don't do it Miss K!

I agree with Simon. If all women had the same looking V then the vagina would not be intresting to look at anymore. I like women who has weird/wonderful vaginas. It makes it more interesting. Besides by the time a man decides to sleep with a women he doesnt really care how imperfect it is.

It's quite sad how everyone wants to "improve" themselves to feel accepted. I like different and unique. I don't think either gender's sexual organs can be described as good looking no matter how much they're "sculpted". But, regardless, they still hold a certain appeal and intrigue to the opposite (or the same) gender. I agree with Simon and Jade. The fun is not knowing what you're going to get. For the most part, i think people are just happy that they can get anything at all. ;)

Surely Mrs K doing plastic surgery on her labia out of freewill AND pretty much excited about it does not qualify as FGM!! It is HER body and slamming her like this as a "friend" makes me glad you are not my friend! FMG is where the women have no choice and are forced and is a VERY serious issue in Africa. Likening voluntary plastic surgery like Mrs K's to FMG is totally a belittling of a serious matter as FMG!

I totally believe it is her right, but does this mean that society is going to start saying that the rest of us don't have perfect labia. Women are already so concerned and embarrassed about their genitals that some can't even bear to touch themselves. Not to mention, that is anything goes wrong, say goodbye to sexual pleasure.

Hey, each to their own. But if you value your "Womaninity", and sex is MORE than just a "pomp", then why, O why, girls, would ANY of you start messing around with Designa-FGM? I agree with Jade - male genitalia are friggin' awful! (then again, I am a man - and sorta into girls. So I suppose I am not programmed to seek out boy-genitalia!). Miss K, you're kidding yourself. Simple. But as some have said, it's a free(ish) world.

This practice should be nipped in the bud, pardon the pun. I had it done some ten years ago and the results were horrendous. The trauma is ongoing, and yes, I would liken it to FGM, Skywalker. Enough said.

As a man, I love all sizes and shapes of vaginas. I think to change them is stupid. If you believe you are nor perfect, no amount of surgery is ever going to please your desire to look perfect. There are rare cases where surgery is waranted, but that is definetly not he norm. I love the female form, no matter what shape.

I am dedicated to only one V now, but in earlier days had my share of seeking out new places to play... in all of my adventures, no V ever put me off (whatever its appearance), once I got past all the bases to score a home run. Different they may all be, but true pleasure can be had from them all. So Miss K, my advice, play with the hair perhaps but don't touch your precious rose with a knife.

Right... No one told you to cut away parts of your genitals. But then again if you do have meaty bits goggling at your sexual partner, isn't it your right to change it. Yeah I know yadda yadda about feminism and what woman are supposed to look like. But surely when woman started wearing make up 1000's of years ago there was a reason. I'm not keen on vaginal surgery etc, but it sure has it's purpose. Most ladies think they have an ugly vagoo anyway, that's why they hide it behind a massive bush. But f* yeah to feminism!

"This practice should be nipped in the bud, pardon the pun." Anyone who uses pardon the pun or no pun intended should be shot... dead. It's like saying "oh look at me, see what I did there, I used a pun, very clever, hey?"

Bush said: "Read my lips!" Aside from the OBVIOUS pun, women and men can choose to do as they wish. That is the concept of "free will". Males & females are designed to fit together, irrespective of appearance, shape or size of genitalia.

Hey, I am all for it. I am fussy about the appearance of a girls nether regions, myself. Huge batwings are a massive turnoff, and I have dropped more than one woman because of exactly that. if you can get the offending beef curtains chopped off, please do. In the beginning stage of a relationship, one tends to spend a fair bit of time down there, and it needs to be as good an experience as possible. Chop them off girls!

@MarcD: There is so much wrong with your comment I don't even know where to start. So I'm skipping over all the obvious and going straight to: "in the beginning stage of a relationship, one tends to spend a fair bit of time down there". Yeah. You would be the type of guy who'll only spend time "down there" in the beginning of a relationship. Stick to screwing your blow-up doll, buddy.

As a man I believe that women are far too obsessed with attaining the perfect look. The mere thought of genital surgery makes me cringe, and I can't believe that a woman would actually do something like that to herself by choice. In my opinion you should refer your friend to psychiatric help. It sounds like a serious self-image problem if she's willing to do this to herself just to please men who wouldn't mind what her vagina looked like either way. Of course there is the minute possibility that she might be doing it for financial gain, but once all the "dancers" have it done, she'll look just like everone else in the club...

Listen Dorothy, you miss the plot! I am a red blooded man and let me tell you something: I LOVE VAGINA!! Any VAGINA! Like Simon, I am committed to one but I LOVE every single detail of the little critter as Mother Nature intended! NO CUTTING, NO MUTILATING ... short pubes if I may, reason being that the view of the little guy is better! DO NOT CUT THE LITTLE ONE!!!

You're such a fag...you want to use the good 'ol vagina - but then it must be to YOUR liking??? I guess you don't get much, do you? Send all the "Ugly" vagina's to me - I know what to do with the little critter!!

Personally, I prefer almost non-existant inner labia; large, flappy ones are an absolute turnoff to me, and if a woman has them, she is as good as history. Similarly, a loose vagina - its like throwing a sausage down a passage! (I am average in size, in case your wondering...). So if you can chop off any excess labia and make them nice and neat, go for it - and while your there, tighten up a bit too, your man will love it! To Jade - jumpoutta the closet girl!

I can't/won't really comment on the aesthetics of genitalia, but some of your text seems to have been written a bit hastily and thus needs some grammatical beautification to enhance the understandability of your article.

Chop it off? Never, its beautiful, so I've been told - and it gets used for pretty punani only. And to Jason: what, you think after a couple years your not bored with the same old, same old? Maybe you need to upgrade your doll, Doll! If you can afford to be fussy, then be fussy; I can.

I had a friend at gym who has a larger outa labia then "normal". She was approached by a woman in the gym change room who said "Darling, you can fix that with surgery theses days" THE CHEEK, I would have pointed at her face and said something nasty back. The vagina is just a part of who you are and unless it causes you mental anguish beyond "oh no I dont look like Pam" leave it alone!

The next thing you will know is that someone will be looking at re-shaping their intestines because it will look pretty in x-rays!! If she regularly posed for Hustler or any other nudity magazine then I would understand but I think it is more of an attention seeking effort than anything else.

@ MarcD Shame, I feel sorry for you. You may have just kicked the love of your life out of bed and you would hav enever known because she didnt have a designa vagina. Guess if that's what you are looking for that's what you are going to get. A living doll made of plastic with a constant image problem who will eventually leave you for an old guy with more money who can pay for more surgeries. There you will be, saggy balls and beer boop alone on your smelly couch.

Personally I love what a vagina looks like. All of them. Its part of a woman just as much as her eyes and nose and ears. Just not as visible to everyone. I would not mind if they have surgery or not to make themselves feel better (if they at all feel bad about the way it looks) but they really do not have to feel they need to. I would think in some extreme circumstances there might be women for whom it is a serious issue, let them be. I just don't want to be the husband of one of them because it will mean almost 3 months without sex while she recovers!

@Hila - thanks dear. But love is overrated, as are ugly fandangles. I'll never hold on to a girl for long, so that she can go out and find the love of her life. Me, I been there done that. And hey, I like women of all shapes and forms, its just their nethers I'm particular about. No worse than a woman dropping a man becasue he is too small or too thin, no?

Having seen a few vagina's over the years, I would like to say that there are some cases where surgery is necessary as there are those labia which look rather like the skin hanging off a male turkeys beak and neck ... which really is not attractive, or what might be described as the hanging gardens of babylon!! More than that ... pussy is power!!

My wife had both done - vaginoplasty and labiaplasty after the birth of our kids. I paid for it, naturally. She is much happier, and so am I. Its not like having facial surgery, because I dont stick my fingers - or anything else - into her nose, or lick it! Girls, look after your kit and make it as beautiful as possible!

Er, women are currently having their eyes, noses, breasts and pretty much anything else fixed with cosmetic surgery. So then what is wrong with doing the same to the moist bits? Seems more practical to me, since they will get the most physical attention out of any of the other bits! Doctors, why dont you have some specials, get the girls in there and fixed up!

i belief miss K is crazy, can she show us how her vagina looks like we will tell here if she need the surgery? big No. the same question will be posed after she had the surgery. stop messing with your V. and accept who you are.

MarcD, you should consider apologising and try to get the girl back that broke your heart and led you to living the way that you are. It cannot be healthy - you will eventually get older and the younger girls WILL not find you attractive anymore (but then again a big shlong and lots of money probably always helps for loose girls - if you have one or the other that is, even better if you have both)...You will end up alone and from what I have been reading about you, you would not be happy being alone. You sound like you need to be venerated to feel your self-worth. How good you are in bed does not ultimately depict who you are as a person. The sooner you realise that, the better. As for Miss K, she must have seriously considered this and should not be judged for making it. All I can say is that if we had forsight, we would not have to sit back and say "in hindsight, maybe I should not have done it..."