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Promiscuity and Leadership

Leaders are meant to be role models and Zuma has failed in this regard, writes Colleen Lowe Morna.

If nothing else, President Jacob Zuma’s belated apology about his out-of-wedlock child with Sonono Khoza following unprecedented outrage at the way he has demeaned the highest office in the land has shown the power of public opinion in a democracy. We have also established once and for all that the personal is political and that leaders must practice what they preach where HIV and AIDS is concerned.

Still lacking from the public discourse, however, is how Zuma has taken the country back a few decades when it comes to the progressive gender discourse so proudly a part of the new South Africa. In the week that we celebrate the twentieth anniversary of Nelson Mandela’s release from jail, and await President Zuma’s State of the Nation address at the start of a new decade, his crass behaviour reminds us that there is still a long walk to freedom for South African women.

2010 opened with a frenzy of reports about Zuma’s third wife and fifth marriage, peppered with letters and opinion pieces justifying polygamy on the grounds that it’s not illegal or unconstitutional; that it’s better to be transparent about relationships than have concubines hidden away and that liberalism demands tolerance of all lifestyles.   

The love child case shattered this sycophantic barrage. It showed that contrary to Zuma’s own claims about openness within his polygamous circle, the president philanders at will outside this circle. Of course, we already knew this to be the case from the trial that acquitted Zuma of rape, but revealed that he had unprotected extra-marital sex with an HIV positive woman half his age before he became president.

That case and the outcry it caused when he said he had a shower to prevent himself getting infected got conveniently forgotten as Zuma earned brownie points on World AIDS Day by going for testing. Now we are at least waking up to the fact that it’s as dangerous to have a hypocrite as it is to have a denialist leading the country in the fight against this deadly pandemic.

We’re also coming around to the fact that whatever the African National Congress (ANC) and Zuma himself may say about his right to privacy, leaders answer to a higher set of standards than even the courts may set. They are role models who set the tone and pace for the rest of the nation: think, for example, of the messages that Barack and Michelle Obama exude about race and gender in the US and further afield.

Yes, polygamy is not illegal in South Africa. But how does it square with a Constitution that provides for the equal rights of women? The South African Law Reform Commission concluded that a system that allows men to have several wives while a woman can only have one husband is self-evidently unequal. It went on to say that unfortunately allowing women to have many husbands offered no real solution in a deeply patriarchal society. The Commission argued that giving women in polygamous relationships equal rights would protect these women and lead to this system gradually fading away for social and economic reasons.

The role of progressive leaders is to push the envelope, not take us back in time. Mandela, despite having similar traditional roots to Zuma, struck a goal for gender equality when he married former Mozambican first lady Graca Machel who kept her surname and identity, and negotiated a commuter marriage between two countries. With Zuma, who has tried to step into Mandela’s shoes, it has become the fashion to flaunt women and children in a way that says: my conquests, my wealth, my possessions.

In response to the frequently asked question: what about the women who choose to be his additional wives or mistresses it is amazing that we fail to question the meaning of “choice” where the forces of power are still so heavily stacked against women. Wherever there is a power imbalance, some in the ranks of the powerless will buy into the agenda of the powerful: witness for example the homeland leaders under apartheid. That surely did not make the system right!
  
What is frightening about the effect of Zuma on gender discourse in South Africa is that because the most powerful man in the land is involved, the ANC Women’s League (also the driving force behind the Progressive Women’s Movement) has lost its voice, joining in the cacophony of Zuma’s right to privacy, to practice his culture, without the slightest critique of how this sits with constitutional provisions for equality.

According to Zuma, all men need do if they go around fathering children with many women is accept paternity, pay damages, invoke children’s rights, blame the media and claim their right to privacy. If that does not work, you can also say “sorry” before rushing off to deliver the State of the Nation address.

In a serious case of de je vu its only in another moment of crisis that we are we being reminded that although the judge in the 2006 rape trial did not find sufficient evidence to convict Zuma, he took a dim view of Zuma’s conduct. Following the outrage over Zuma’s comments in court about showering away the AIDS risk, he said: “I wish to state categorically and place on record that I erred in having unprotected sex. I should have known better. And I should have acted with greater caution and responsibility.”

Evidently, no lessons were learned as Zuma has since not abstained, acted faithfully, or used a condom. The issue is not whether or not Zuma should step down as president, but the fact that if we had included attitudes towards women as a key test of leadership- a point many of us made at the time - he should never have been president!

Now, as Sibongile Dabeka, a disgruntled ANC supporter, asks in a letter to the Sunday Independent this week:  “How do you market a president who sees young women as potential sleeping partners rather than comrades? How does a revolutionary become a feudalist or traditionalist?” How, indeed, are we to square polygamy, promiscuity and the progressive values of the ANC that Mandela gave his life for and that Zuma agrees he must uphold?  If we are to push our democracy to greater heights, how now are we to emerge from this quagmire?   

Any thoughts around the recent Jacob Zuma's disclosure? Share your opinion on the issue in the box below.

Read more on: affairs  |  love child  |  jacob zuma  |  sex  |  polygamy
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Zee 2/9/2010 3:27:29 PM
Our sick president of SA/ What a dog
MsDiva 2/9/2010 3:58:10 PM
Our president is a love rat nothing more nothing less
preshen govender 2/10/2010 7:07:59 AM
It is easier for JZ to win an election then wear a c0ndom
Noddy 2/10/2010 8:54:38 AM
JZ should try different positions with the same woman, instead of trying the same position with different woman.
Ross 2/10/2010 9:12:44 AM
Please remember people, JZ has a Grade 5 education and evidently never learnt the meaning of accountability, remorse, respect for women(Or anybody else for that matter) which has led him to indulge in various selfenriching and gratuitous excercises, because HE CANNOT and WILL NOT BE TOUCHED. He was put in power by people who pull his strings like a puppet. He is on the same level as that criminal who apologised for having raped a woman yesterday, because they all think if they apologise, it is OK. A case of "I said I am sorry, did I not" Hence we have a criminal element in this country who do what they want because "SORRY" is such a powerful word. OH MY GOODNESS
deedee 2/10/2010 9:14:24 AM
This is big coming from Women24. Usually this website promotes promiscuity.
Pierre 2/10/2010 9:32:57 AM
Colleen I think your points about gender are spot on but I disagree on one main point: I don't believe our leaders are our role models. I have never looked up to any politician for leadership, I have higher standards than that! Power corrupts and there are very few exceptions. JZ's story is a bitter reminder that we are all human - we all have feet of clay. That's why we have an HIV epidemic - duh!
GeorGe 2/10/2010 10:12:33 AM
I await Poliodonkey's remark about this one. He will defend his leader no matter what. Talk about morals and respect!
Rivanta 2/10/2010 10:30:55 AM
Great article, Colleen. Don't you think though that the entire ANC are to blame for making Zuma their presidential candidate in the first place. Did they not know the man well at that stage? They must have know what his personal life was like and that he chose to follow his "culture" of polygomy. Could they not foresee that this might create some discord with international leaders and the SA public at large. I agree with Pierre to a large extent - "Power corrupts and there are very few exceptions", but good heavens, to have a man such as Zuma for president is an embarrassment most of us share. I read somewhere recently "We need someone to look up to" - is this just a pipe dream? Dare we hope....
Nature 2/10/2010 10:48:17 AM
good to hear all saints putting their selves first. How good to know that all of you condomise, have slept with one partner, do not have children before marriages. Congratulations for living such good and promising lives.
2uwhitepicks 2/10/2010 11:30:50 AM
Who the hell r u to question our morals and our ethics, u hypocrites, u have casual sex with u can find, u r promiscuous as teenagers, who r u to judge.
Steve 2/10/2010 11:52:01 AM
It does not help complaining to each other about the ANC and current Zuma's and Malema's of the world as the masses who vote ANC have no acess to computers and newspapers.
Thando 2/10/2010 12:00:32 PM
@Steve, good point.@2uwhitepicks, white people r not the debate here, wrong is wrong whether a white/black person is doing it, i'm not gonna side with Zuma just because he's black and i'm black.
Kim Novak 2/10/2010 12:01:53 PM
The quality of our presidential candidates is in free-fall since Nelson Mandela. From having a legend, we sunk to having an angry pseudo-intellectual control freak to now having a populist philanderer and intellectual dwarf. What the hell are we going to get next from the ANC? It can only be Julius Malema to keep the downward spiral going.
MZ 2/10/2010 12:03:18 PM
unfortunately if you are racist you will never understand polygamy because it is mostly pratised by black peaople, it's been there for decades Zuma can ahve as many wives he wants and as many kids he wants find something else to talk about. if all man accept their kids we will not have street kids, so Zuma is doing a right thing.
Jack 2/10/2010 12:07:40 PM
I think the writer of this article is wrong, save us from our leaders being role models; they lie, deceive and cheat their way into power. They are all egotistical narcissists who believe that they alone hold the keys to wisdom. Their voice on the radio and image on the TV is what they want to improve not the fate of the citizens. This is true of all politicians throughout the world. They promise everything and then deliver nothing. Today leadership at a political level is linked to “spinning the truth” and then evading questions with very vague answers afterwards. Take Tony Blair for instance.
Leadership is more than campaign slogans and empty gestures and promises. There are no true political leaders left in the world and that is our vault for not taking politics seriously.
MZ 2/10/2010 12:07:52 PM
what does polygamy has anything to do with respect for woman comeon.
Tshwarelo 2/10/2010 12:08:28 PM
Before I even finish the article, I just want to ask the question: Where do women feature in their own freedom? You must remember that during apartheid the majority of South Africans had to protest, riot and picket in order to show that they were demanding freedom. Today, women are sitting there, waiting for freedom, not even bothering to ask for it. I'm a gender rights activist, but kgomo go thushwa yeo e kethushang (you assist a cow that is trying).
Jackie 2/10/2010 12:27:41 PM
In England there is outrage cos a soccer player had an affair, yet here we are apathetic about our leader's antics!
Nozipho 2/10/2010 1:52:38 PM
JZ is just a liability,as a nation we cannot afford paying on tax payers money his kind of lifestyle. Right now we will be told that Tax is going up, for what? so that he can go and marry another wife who will also benefit on all the allowances First ladies and their children have? These women never married JZ when he wasn't a President, now that we voted for him, they are coming out in numbers agreeing to polygamy. SA lets wake up before its late.
GeorGe @Nozipho 2/10/2010 2:19:43 PM
You had better educate your brothers and sisters before the next elections - inlcuding Poliodonkey on this forum! They must learn that putting the cross in the correct space (the one who will give the best governance) is the only way tho make a change for the better. I can think of a lady that leads a particular party whose surname also starts with a Z. This is the way to go!
Riri 2/10/2010 2:48:13 PM
@Rivanta, i pray that it is not just a pipe dream otherwise god help us all because the future looks very dark. I hear that how JZ chooses to live his life is none of my business but if i have to foot the bill for that lifestyle then it sure as hell is my business. Remember that zimbabweans voted for Bob when they thought that he was the "right man for the job" and look how catastrophic that turned out. That is what you get when a country continues to support utter garbage. Our country is steadily heading towards the gutters. We have to wake up before it is too late.

MZ 2/10/2010 3:40:43 PM
Some guy yesterday said something good on Metro.

He asked why Presidents like Obama, Bush and Clinton did not get pushed
off their power as they have killed thousands of people in Iraq and
Afghanistan.

He asked why Zuma was getting so many sheet for merely slipping up in
his personal life. He never killed anybody if you think about it!
MZ 2/10/2010 3:48:42 PM
Carol you and helen should be friends you both make rasist remarks about our president @Riri south africa will never be like Zim or any other african countries instead we will be far better than them and those who decide ti migrate go we dont need you, you are the one's that promote negative critisim about south africa.
Ann@MZ 2/11/2010 7:31:55 AM
Mandela was the last true leader we had. A leader is someone who sets an example worthy of following. Zuma might not have killed anyone in the sense of using a weapon, but thanks to his irresponsible philandering and baby-making (no protected sex), his example is a killer in the HIV sense. We are going for the world record in AIDS - when the country's leader does not set an example, then where do his followers look for leadership? This has nothing to do with racism or poligamy. By all means, have many wives, but be faithful to those wives! Zuma has not done that. He is not my leader. Mandela is still my icon and hero. A man with values and integrity.
sosickofit 2/11/2010 8:22:18 AM
@MZ.. yes you are correct, YOUR president killed nobody but how many children are out there dying of starvation, no education and even orphans because of HIV/Aids - so yes, I think he's an accomplice to it!!! Wake up for goodness sake and start smelling the roses. This is not a racist or immigration issue. It's about morals and ethics, which is clearly lacking!
Poppet 2/11/2010 9:10:20 AM
How come when a whitey passes a remark about a black person and/or criticizes his/her behaviour you're automatically and quite categorically a *&!%ing racist and when a black person has something 'off' or negative to say about a whitey it's just an opinion, a mere observation, it's a free world you know... How does this rubbish work?! So, if I was to say that Jacob Zuma is a Dof Dick of note, in keeping with his endless dick-based behaviour and I was to tell you that I am indeed quite pale and I never voted for him, would this mean I am racist - or merely an informed and concerned citizen with high standards and a talent for spotting a GIANT MISTAKE when it stares me in the face? WHATEVER! Why are any of us even here...typing away...
@2uwhitepicks 2/11/2010 1:27:16 PM
2uwhitepicks your the reason SA can not move on, you are the lower than the scum at the bottom of the shower JZ uses after his Aids incounters. Grow up and move on this is not a black and white thing. Today is Madiba day and for once black and white should stand together and turn this country into something GREAT FOR ALL. Once again 2uwhitepicks your attitude is not welcome in this country
Poppet 2/11/2010 2:45:02 PM
Hey WhitePicks, I'm standing right here, ain't going nowhere my man, where are you?? PS! You missed the whole (BIG picture) point - and succeeded splendidly in proving mine - thanks! PPS! We're having a MadibaDay Bash tonight - hope to see you there...the only request-condition is that you have to wear white...
Kingkaizer 2/12/2010 10:43:55 AM
It is not Poliodonkey but Polo Ya Tonki. Do you know what that means. You dont want to know.
chris 2/12/2010 11:43:36 AM
Im white and have no problem with polygamy. Polygamy is legal and constitutional. Don't enforce your western values onto everybody - cultures differ. Women are oppressed in monogomous relationships too, so with that logic, monogamy should be outlawed as well. It is possible to enter a polygamous relationship CONSENSUALLY without woman feeling like victims. Stop forcing your religious irrational dogma onto everyone...

If the issue is equality and women's rights - then leave it at that. Many monogomous marriages are oppressive towards women, so PLEASE dont single out polygamy
whitey 2/12/2010 12:53:13 PM
Well! Well! well!

We all know what ANC stands for:
A N C
Absolutely No Clue

The proof is in the pudding....sorry presidents!

WitWillem 2/12/2010 8:17:56 PM
Just wondering, would he allow his wifes to have four husbands as well? Maybe they are so buzzy with the other husbands that they dont have time for zuma?
Peter M 2/15/2010 12:00:28 AM
thanks for the article. Commentors - some of you mix the issues. Polygamy is one thing, and adultery is another. This is not about religious condemnation. It is about respecting one's (multiple) marriage, and not sleeping around for extra gratification at everybody else's expense. This is not what anyone would expect from a State President! I would not have much respect for any of my mates if they did that as married men, and how much less respect can I have for the State President! The call way back in the old struggle days was for a non-racist, non-sexist transparent and accountable democracy. What's happening is a sad mockery of these progressive values.
preshen govender 2/16/2010 4:37:17 PM
Zuma should get a vasectomy and just shoot blanks
Ntoto-ekoto-ekgolo aka Ntoto 3/1/2010 10:09:56 AM
I think the writer is wrong by claiming to speak on our behalf, or to blame ANC for that matter. I am not a member of the ANC, but I votred for the ANC, becausr of what they promised us; Voters; and I was fully aware that Msholozi is at the top of that party; and I was also fully aware of what he did and still doing. He, just like any other citizen, is protrctrd by the constitution of this land to practice whatever cultural belief he chooses to follow, just like you choose monogamy.The point I also want to make is that many commentators forget that his wives too chose to be in poligamous union, so why do you only blame Msholozi? what about his partners in crime?are they innocent little children unable to defend themseves and being forced to be in Poligamous union? I DOUBT.
Madie 3/5/2010 11:52:29 AM
A survey that was conducted wherein 2400 women where asked if they would sleep with Zuma....99% responded...never again
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