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Office pest?

Has gossip and drama infiltrated your workspace? Here's how to break the cycle...

The Gossip
The gossip loves to discuss who 'been fired or hired and who's getting hitched or ditched. Her sentences usually start with: 'I shouldn't be telling you this...' or 'I promised not to tell...'

What you can do:
If you can't ignore or avoid her:

  • Tell her outright that gossiping makes you feel uncomfortable and you'd rather not know.
  • Ask yourself: Is the gossip true? Is it fair? Will it improve the atmosphere at work? Will it be beneficial to all concerned? If the answer is no to any of these questions, don't add your penny's worth.
  • Think before you speak since it is almost guaranteed that what you say will be repeated.
  • Consider who the gossip's sources are and what her motive might be before you react or share gossip with someone else.

    What the boss should do:
    Ensure that the lines of communication are clear. Circulate regular newsletters or emails to inform workers about new appointments and developments, and have an open-door policy so that your employees will feel free to discuss rumours with you.

    The office gossip doesn't always comment on the 'academic issues' in the workplace, for example, redundancy and salary cuts, says Dr Susan Steinman, chair and CEO of the Work Trauma Foundation in South Africa. 'They're often character assassins and very dangerous to a person 's career. Therefore a company should ensure that there's a policy in place to prohibit gossiping,' she says.

    The Complainer
    The complainer is never satisfied with anything. She'll complain about co-workers, her salary, the boss or the hours she works, as long as she can complain.

    What you can do:
    Never agree with her complaints – she can easily cite you as a fellow complainer when taking her complaints to the manager, making you an unwilling accomplice. Rather steer her away from negative thinking by discussing with her how the problem can be solved. If she's complaining about a co-worker, however, it is best to advise her to talk to your employer instead.

    What the boss should do
    Don't ignore complaints. Instead, discuss them with her in such a way that it might actually be solved. Therefore, don't ask her why she's always complaining, rather find out what she's complaining about and why. Don't underestimate complainers: her negative attitude could spread and fuel more complaints in the of office.

    The Fighter
    The fighter is quick to lose her temper, insult co-workers and step on toes. In worst-case scenarios, they may even become abusive and violent.

    What you can do:
    Stay calm and don't take it personally. Never lash out or swear at her, because it will make matters worse. Focus on calming techniques: count to 10, breathe deeply or think about how to resolve the problem. If you feel vulnerable or fear that you may fly off the handle, tell her that you will discuss it later. Indicate that you are listening to her by making eye contact, nodding, smiling and leaning forward.

    What the boss should do:
    Confront the employee in a non threatening way and make sure they know that their behaviour will not be tolerated. Suggest sending her on an anger-management course. Take the appropriate disciplinary steps according to company policy to ensure that the matter doesn't get out of hand.

    The Backstabber
    Two-faced people are all smiles in front of you, but will do anything to ensure that you don't end up above them on the corporate ladder.

    What you can do:
    Backstabbing is always done in an underhand manner. You may suspect it but will be unable to prove it, says Dr Steinman. 'It's never the person who criticises you in the meeting – backstabbers aren't open. It's backstabbing when someone says "he's busy elsewhere...again" and gives a smirk, when you ask that person to apologise for you at the meeting for a good reason.'

    Dr Steinman warns that it can be difficult to confront the backstabber. 'They'll deny having anything against you and they're very smooth. You could try confronting the backstabber and telling the rest of the office about the backstabbing. It may help or it may worsen the problem.

    However, you cannot sit still when you're being stabbed in the back. Try to get it on the agenda and expose the backstabber or face the risk of your career being damaged.'

    What the boss should do:
    Employers, without realising it, often cultivate a backstabbing environment by having obvious favourites at the office or by being friendlier with some colleagues than others.

    Keep your relationships with your personnel on the same level. Make it clear that you will not listen to negative reports about a colleague or complaints without hearing both sides of the story. Dr Steinman says that some companies operate on the notion that 'information is power'. This will prevent transparency and backstabbing will flourish. A policy of transparency and dealing with the problem openly is the best policy, she says.

    The Bullying Boss
    Dr Steinman says bullying is a big problem. Research shows that 83% of bullies are in managerial positions.

    She stresses that a bullying boss should not be confused with a boss who simply irritates you. 'Bullying is subtle, intentional and malicious. It happens over time and has the likelihood of challenging your right to dignity, respect, your wellbeing and emotional health.

    When your boss is bullying you, you can lodge a grievance. If your company has policies in place to deal with bullying, you could look forward to a solution.

    However, most companies don't have policies in place,' she says. This should change.

    Research shows that when bullying is acute in the workplace, victims and witnesses lose on average 4,5 hours per week over a 12-month period by defending themselves, writing 'cover your back' memos, discussing the issue, comforting each other, setting up systems to avoid being victimised and proving that they did their work, stress- related sick leave and worrying.

    What you can do:
    If you're suffering because of a difficult boss, deal with it in one of the following ways:

  • Make a list of all the things about the person that bother you. Choose three things on the list that bother you the most. Think about solutions. Write them down and edit sarcastic comments or accusatory remarks. Show the list to a trusted friend and ask for input. After you have revised your complaints, arrange a meeting with your boss. Because this meeting could either end well or badly, you should first assess how your boss will react.
  • An alternative is to keep a journal of your negative feelings towards your boss and make it your stress-relieving outlet.

    Visit our career expert for free advice on how to deal with any work-related dilemma.

    Are you surrounded by any – or all – of these 'pests'? What's your coping mechanism? Share your story in the comment box below.

    - Ideas

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    Comment on this story


    Linda 9/23/2008 11:07:07 AM
    Oh my, we seem to have one of each at the office. I must admit that sometimes I've been a complainer or the gossiper, but just recently I realised that such attitudes do not belong in the workplace and I'm trying to talk some sense into a couple of the ladies, so we can put this to a stop. I truly does poison the work relationships, two of my colleague-friends are not speaking to each other and all because of lies, backstabbing and gossiping. What a shame..
    Pop Idol 9/23/2008 12:56:03 PM
    Shame on you,Its good you woke up and see how destructive it is but shame on you !
    Mags 9/23/2008 1:24:25 PM
    Why is the gossip always referred to by 'her'??? Men are equally good at this!
    Pop Idol 9/23/2008 1:40:54 PM
    Women love gossiping, men work hard.Show me ONE thing a woman has invented since all these womens rights have come into place...Ill give you the next years to find something, and you wont find anything,cause THERE ISNT ANYTHING...Stop gossiping and start to work.
    Mia 9/23/2008 1:54:32 PM
    The Know-it-all-Self-Rightuous-Holier-Than-Thou = Pop Idol
    S 9/23/2008 1:57:22 PM
    And what exactly are you doing on this Forum - MR POP IDOL....go and do some real work -and stop Pretending to work you prehistoric baboon!
    distressed 9/23/2008 2:35:37 PM
    I agree with Mags, women aren't the only ones who get up to these tricks. I was a victim of backstabbing and malicious lies in my previous company and yes it damaged my career badly there. The "perp" in this case was a man who just could not work effectively so he spent most of his time pointing fingers and getting management to look elsewhere. When I discussed this problem with management I found that the perp had done his homework and that management were so brainwashed that they did not listen and accused me of running him down! To give you an example of the cleverness of this chap, I would come into the office about 30 mins after him (of course leaving later than him in the evenings), and then I would get phone calls from various people around the office to say I am chewing up all the internet bandwidth. Of course I did not even have the internet open. It turns out that our "friend"was waiting for me to walk in and then hitting the downloads hard. When people asked around about why the internet was slow, he used to point fingers at me. From management's point of view, the obvious culprit was me, since the internet was only slow when I came in. Later this was proved wrong when management spent money of software to track internet usage. There were lots of other issues and all I can say is I am glad I left. The company lost 15 people (out of 25) in 2 years because of this man. As far as I know he is still there and there are only 3 of the original staff remaining.
    Mel 9/23/2008 2:43:07 PM
    Pop Idol, You are an idiot. Show you one thing? I can show you thousands but here are 3 .... COBOL, 6-mercaptopurine, Kevlar What have you invented?
    H 9/30/2008 11:15:08 AM
    The saddest part of this.. is reading the undermentioned emails I think the best is that all work employees rather take alook at themselves constructively before lashing out towards your peers (up or down) – fact of life is that "gossip" exists all over, REMOVE yourself from it and don't allow the subconcious mind to be triggered...

    Believe you me I have been exposed to all the dirt within a Corporate arena and have even experienced a recent nervous breakdown because I allowed myself to me affected by this nonsense.

    The best advice is to believe and be TRUE TO YOURSELF!!!

    Treat people the way you would like to be treated. Have a MAGIC DAY and behave ha-ha

    BOSS 9/30/2008 11:37:30 AM
    glad to see that my staff do not have time for this idle crap
    Anet 9/30/2008 3:51:33 PM
    yes BOSS says Pop Idol. I see the BOSS thinks his staff does not have time for this crap, but I am surprised he has the time? I think Pop Idol obviously works for him and the two of them are stabbing each other in the back Haaa haaa You two deserve each other
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