"I eat pussy to stay alive" screamed 15 July's Daily Voice front page.
With the strap line: "These hungry Flats mense will kill, cook and chow
What I found interesting though was the fact that all the people
who complained about the header – and there were quite a number of them
– weren't necessarily horrified by the desperate poverty this headline
implied. Or by the more than vaguely disturbing idea of people dining
on your darling Fluffy. Or even the slightly sexy yet totally gross
vampiric image brought to mind by the idea of someone eating cunt to
Noooo. What bothered the esteemed non-readers of the Daily
Voice was that a headline like that was journalism taken a step too
far. That the Daily Voice used such a crass, unsavoury pun to sell
their crass, unsavoury newspaper.
Now as someone dabbling in journalism I was of course highly
offended by the headline. Because journalism is a fine and noble
profession dammit. Proper journos don’t use disgusting wordplay to
whore to the masses. Proper journos don’t cater to humankind’s baser
instincts. Proper journos would never stoop to such sensationalist
And that, dear friends, is why proper journos are a dying breed. Because people want what they want.
Look at the internet – the biggest information system ever
dreamt of and what drove it to become as organised and widely used as
it is today? Porn. If you don’t believe me don't bother to comment,
just look it up. If you can tear yourself away from
hornyhousewives.com, that is.
Long gone is the time when we could prescribe what people
should read or not. And know or not. Because the interweb machine is a
great equalizer. People are no longer interested in some Rhodes grad
giving their objective version of a story.
Because, and say after me: there is no such thing as
objectivity. Every single person reads from their – often, totally nuts
– perspective. You only have to look at some of the reader comments
articles get to see that people are unable of reading anything
So then, why bother to report anything objectively?
In England (and many other countries I'm sure) they've had
subjective newspapers for decades, if not centuries. From the
ridiculously conservative to the limp wristed liberal to the
unashamedly left wing "the masses" knew every paper's agenda. And were
free to choose what they wanted to read.
These days South Africans can also choose to read tabloids
with inciting headlines and page 3 nudity. And you can either lament
this "dumbing-down" of our nation’s so called intellect, or you can
jump on the bandwagon.
Well I know what I'm gonna do. Which is why I'm going to call this column, "I love my pussy". Just kidding.
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