Yesterday it struck me that South Africans everywhere are asking each other: Which team will you support when Bafana Bafana falls out?
My boss calls it your “back-pocket team”. Because while we’re obviously all cheering for our boys (if you’re not, I hope the sound of a thousand vuvuzelas will keep you awake for a thousand nights!) we’re still realists at the end of the day. And being ranked 83 in the world just doesn’t bode well.
Don’t get me wrong: I’ll be happy if we score one goal. Or if we win just one match. Or, if lo and behold, we make it through the first round!
But can’t we be allowed to daydream a little? Because if there’s one thing I know about us South Africans, it’s that we are a strange mix of realists and fantasists. Because God knows, you have to be a bit of a dreamer not to go insane in our country.
But hey… just for a minute, let’s play ‘if wishes were ponies’… Bafana would go through to the final! And then…
• Katlego Mphela would score our winning goal!
• And then Julius Malema and Steve Hofmeyr will sing “Make the circle beega” and kiss and make up.
• And we’ll get billions in foreign investments so that the government can build people toilets out of any substance they prefer.
• And all the rapists and murderers will lock themselves up in jail and the non-violent criminals will change their thieving ways and volunteer in AIDS orphanages.
• And Solidariteit and Cosatu will start looking after everyone’s interests, no matter where you lie on the pigmentation scale.
• And Leon Shuster will make a watchable film.
• And people will forgive Zapiro and he’ll be more sensitive to people’s feelings.
• And we won’t all have irreparable hearing damage from the vuvuzelas.
• And everyone will have jobs and we’ll welcome our fellow Africans in our beautiful country and show them what SA hospitality is all about.
• And the ANCYL will pipe down a little and remember the people they’re working for. And Helen Zille will smile.
• And Madiba’s dream for a free and happy South Africa will live in everybody’s hearts forever.
Am I being silly? Of course I am. But hey, a girl can dream. And has there ever been a better time to do so? C’mon.
Play with me and finish the sentence: if wishes were ponies…
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