How to plan a kinky bachelorette

Forget tea and scones with the girls, bachelorette parties are sexier, kinkier and saucier than EVER before. Here are some ideas.

I’m scared. A Bachelor Party is one thing, but a Hen’s party, now there’s another thing altogether. From what I can gather, it’s hardly for the fainthearted…

There used to be a time when all the girls got together, dressed the bride-to-be in seriously odd clothing and made her eat a Lunch Bar out of a potty filled with lemonade. How yesterday was that?

Well actually, it's not so yesterday because it does still happen, a lot. But a lot of Hen's parties these days are pretty much matching anything the Bachelor Party can string together.

Today's girls go all out to make the Hen’s party one hell of an experience - an experience that would make most boys somewhat uneasy. It’s a case of pop the champers and let’s go bananas.

Let’s take a look at some of the latest trends out there, shall we...

The Lingerie Party.

Girls get together and the hostess arrives with lots of crotchless lacy bits of nothing, the bride ends up trying all the little (quite literally) pieces of cloth and lace on. The bride and her friends end up trying it all on. The bride and  her friends all end up holding major lingerie fashion show while the more adventurous end up doing extremely difficult ballet and gymnastic manoeuvres on restaurant bar counter.

This is true and it happens every weekend, across the country!

Pole-dancing Party.

Major fun this is! Hostess number 2 arrives with um, mobile pole and er, erects it in the living room. The bride-to-be and her mates go through pole dance routine and emerge at the end of the evening as supreme Pole-dance Warriors. And here’s the interesting thing - most of the time it’s the future bride’s mom and gran who are doing the saucier moves. Yes, it’s scary. But it’s good, clean fun.

Sex Toy Party.

You go girl! If it brrrrs, bumps, vibrates or tickles it’s all unpacked right before your eyes. Chocolate edible this, strawberry edible that - you name it and it’s there to at the very least, pique your interest. Butterfly this, dolphin that, 3-speed this, 5-speed, reversible, multi-whatever. Who says girls don’t like remote controls? Some of these gadgets take a half hour just to learn where to turn on, let alone how to operate.

One thing is for sure, it’s going to be an interesting evening girls, and you’re going to learn a lot about some of your friends.

Bob the Builder.

Uh-huh, you guessed it, a stripper! Bob the Builder, Giuseppe the Pizza Guy. Rex the Wrestler, even Frikkie the Visserman! Your very own choice in gyrating delivery guy in the privacy of your living room together with your nearest and dearest mates. A very good friend of mine who was an Alpinist (he sadly passed away a few years back while climbing in Peru) had a build of note. The girls were having a Hen’s Party so they decided to call Duncan who duly arrived in his Tux to some serious whoops of delight! Dunc’s gave it his best shot and it’s gone down as a legendary evening in Hen’s Party folklore! So if you're keen on having Bernard the Barbarian around, this is probably a good time to give him a call.

Pamper Party.

Manicures, pedicures, facials. How naff is that! Moving on swiftly…

Braai.

Or you could just have a braai and watch the rugby! Look girls, at the end of the day, the objective is to make your Hen’s party a really fine and memorable occasion. So take the boys on at their own game. Live and let live! And I beg you, if you’re drinking, don’t drive. Now go huge!

Warren Williams is a specialist wedding photographer. Join his Facebook fan page at, here.

What is your ideal hen party? Tell us in the box below…


 

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